it's sad

when you see someone you love change into a monster.

when all someone cares about is wealth and stardom.

when you would do anything for somebody and in return they take all you own without permission.

when they promise you over and over and break them even more.

when they don't even bother to ask how you are.

when you ask for so little and they give you nothing.

when they take take take take take everything you've got both emotionally and literally.

when after they have crashed and ate all your food and used all your money they don't even bother to say goodbye.

one day they will realize what they have done and not have a reason why. Because they fail to truly blame themselves for their greediness, emptiness of their soul, and anger.

anxious

Story of my life. Anyway.

one week and i turn older, officially. I mean because every second I am technically getting older. I guess it is a landmark.

then four days later I am leaving for Boston. Which will be probably the most amazing vacation I could ever ask for.

the anticipation is killing me. let's pray this next week and a half fly by.

cat faces

I wish i had the courage

i wish i was brave

but bravery can often correlate with stupidity.

Running away seems so right. but also wrong.

so i am waiting until i get a degree, fit into the expectations of society for three more years, so i will have a fall back plan if i change my mind. 

i am fickle. but i am not stupid.

tired

i am just so tired.

not tired as in i need to sleep

tired as in i want to sleep.

21 days

20 songs

19 years old

18 seconds pass

17 days of class

16 entries

15 alibis

14 lies

13 chances

12 beestings

11 11 make a wish

10 stars flicker

9 months of anticipation

8 others that weren't you

7 is clearly not my lucky number

6 lies off the tip of your tongue

5 hundred instances without you here

4 trips back and fourth

3 strikes. i'm surprised i am not out

2 attempts

1 love. love love love love. 

i'm sorry

it's only you. 

you'll see.

procrastination

I really should be doing my history essay.

Research is boring. 

so is space travel.

She's the only rocketeer in the whole damn place
They gave her a mirror so she could talk to a face
She still got plenty lonely but that's just the case
With time

burst and bloom

where i want to be is everywhere and nowhere

i want to be everywhere and nowhere all at once

and i really dislike capitalism. I agree with communists in some aspects. I just don't want the hassle of social status and class and money because it just causes problems (marriage, divorce, bankruptcy, stress). Do what you love and love what you do.

for me I just want to sit in a field of sunflowers, look down at the sky, drink whiskey, and hold hands.

i can't wait

to feel that purity

and to finally tell you

i love you. no lies.

i will never want to leave.