it's been a while

i finally remembered my password.

it is amazing how so much can change in three months. new people, new prospects, new opportunity new responsibility. Jumping around from place to place and thought to thought never knowing what comes next but always expecting something. Expecting to be happy, expecting to be tired at work, regretting working too much, regretting not talking to people, losing touch, gaining trust, meeting new people, reconnecting to old friends, wanting to leave, wanting to stay. Life can lead me to the most interesting places.

I was thinking about the future the other day. i know i do not want to stay in florida. i want to get out as soon as i possibly can. As much as I love UCF, I just want change. I want seasons and mountains, and I want to redefine myself as a person. Start where no one knows me. Start somewhere beautiful and calm where I can focus on whatever I choose; whether it is my art, school, and even just relaxation and learning in a new environment.

I will probably end up graduating from UCF in two years, but if i decide to get my masters it definitely will not be in florida. As much as I love the place it just is not right for me. It's been too long and i need to say goodbye. 

I just want to find my yellow bird.

now here's a poem I wrote a bit ago:

lochness

green eyed monsters

and inside out lovers

the flowers look like people

and the people look like

weeds

and i can't help but believe it is real.

for now,

Alexis