Can't you see my insecurities seeping through the pores of my skin, lathered in two different types of foundation, cheeks brushed with bronzer and eyes blacked out with two thick coats of waterproof mascara. Black and gold eye shadow distracting from the subject with beige shimmer lining the inside next to my tear ducts repeating underneath my brow. Oh but it's so much more beautiful when you can't see me. My smile is lined with twenty brackets with a wire running through, and sometimes when I drink ice gets caught between them and causes my whole body to shiver. And as you watch me sip my whiskey and Coors can you see the terrified look underneath everything? As I'm trying to forget my timid tendencies so maybe somebody will remember me, only to black out and wake up in a strange place with a strange note wearing strange clothes searching for my car keys.
Drinking is a good idea that wears away quickly, I think maybe if I talk more I will be able to swiftly sweep someone off their feet and he would call me back, and he'll pick me flowers and write me a poem methodically illustrating his pent up feelings toward me. Yet, I am far too inhibited to even show a sign of affection, and when I do it is always uncomfortable conversation and inelegant movements.
As for now I am going to sink deeper into my room absorbing myself into arduous novels and scribbling cursive nonsense into my journal. At least until I get another opportunity to expose my timidity after communicating back and forth through text message and them meeting over beer and soggy chips and more nervous chit chat.
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